i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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