You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
