Say something about gay babies.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
