I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
