i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Someone signed my nipple.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize