I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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