its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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