he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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