Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
