Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
