the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
