Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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