i jhust puked up my retainher.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
