by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
