i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
