I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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