you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
