dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
