Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
