"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
