After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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