the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
