Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
