I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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