he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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