We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i think i just lost a toe
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
