i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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