I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
