Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
