it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
do nipples grow back?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
