We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
