so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize