Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I did not marry a roomba.
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