you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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