I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
