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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
