And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
