he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
