I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
