On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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