Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
