I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
