Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
