I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
