would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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