white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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