I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
