i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
