Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
