Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
