She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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