i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize