do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
