3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
