wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i came on her dog
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
