I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
