her vagina looked like bernie madoff
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
