I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize