Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize