wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
