3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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