My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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