so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
