new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize