I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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