Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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