The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize