Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Michael Bay diarrhea
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
bring money and cleavage
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
