Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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