We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
