I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
do nipples grow back?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
